`we're all wanting perfection.

Not contented

2011-12-03T07:18:00.001-08:00

I want to be taller. skinner. prettier. All these seem so superficial, but there are just too many flaws in myself. I want to see a change. sigh.

Spread the joy and the laughter

2011-11-23T06:29:00.000-08:00

I'm really starting to love school activities involving our houses now. Had such a great time today, enjoying it so much more especially after the OGL camp. =) Let's hope orientation 2012 will be a blast!

Somehow, I've got really strong urges to do voluntary work. I guess it is part of a natural instinct; to make up for the not-so-nice stuff I've done all my life. Oh well, I've learnt to be more conscious of my words and actions around people now. At least!

I just don't get why people always don't accept others to change. I mean, change isn't always bad. Change is essential. Imagine how mundane your whole life would be without "change" in this world. Change. Always for a good cause. It all happens for a reason.

High time I start catching up on my J1 topics as well as what I've been slacking on during holiday lectures.

camp

2011-11-20T06:12:00.000-08:00

back from ogl camp! One of the most memorable camps in my life, I have to admit, though it wasn't as fun as I had expected it to be. Nonetheless, it was kind of a unique experience. Glad to be blessed with such an opportunity to mix around and work with so many new people whilst having a blast of a time =)

REACH day camp is up next! Hope I'll be of use to the REACH community. And.. NEW PEOPLE ONCE AGAIN! =)

Somehow, it just seems like there are so many phases in my life. To the extent that I have no clue who the real me really is. I was once cheerful. Proceeded on to being introverted. Going crazy and getting stuck in my own world and at the same time, wasn't being really nice to those around me (I think). Now, I just want to realise my true self. Be gracious, not pretentious nor hypocritical. Mingle more with others, make new friends, know more people. Contribute to the community, be worthy to the community. Balance life, friends and academics well. Be consistent. I don't aim to be a perfect person, really. I just can't wait to see the real me. The gracious, friendly, sacrificial me. All of these, in moderation.

Then again, I don't know if what I've just typed makes any sense. A tired huiwen cannot think =(

BEDTIME. on a real bed, tonight.

MadWorld

2011-11-12T01:10:00.000-08:00

Sometimes I get really amazed at my own ignorance and insensitivity. Be a little more observant. Be a little more sensitive. Be a little more gracious. But don't be oversensitive to what others' say.

Isn't that too good to be achievable? I'm no saint. I don't have to try to please everybody, but that doesn't give me the right to make them unhappy, right?

I reminisce back to a couple of years ago, was that really just a "phase" that I went through? Or was the person I was back then.... really me? Maybe this year is the phase. The phase of being playful and naive. Who am I, really?

It's hard to know who you really are. When you're behaving one way, you feel that you're not being a good person and people don't really like you for it; because you're too rowdy, too insensitive... So when you behave in another way, you feel like you're keeping too much to yourself, that you should let your hair down and just enjoy life; and people feel that you're being too serious, being too hard on yourself. What does everyone want from me? What do I even want from myself? So many questions, so many doubts of myself. It really is at times like these when you feel at your lowest; that you simply have no clue what lies within that shell of your very own body.

I'm so glad to have this blog. So glad that I can express my feelings here. Though no one has been told about my virtual diary, the internet is never safe, right? But the same goes to the real world, isn't it? We all know the safest place is our very own hearts and minds. Yet, we can never truly bottle up our feelings. I'll go crazy if I do. Well, at least I know that, here, I do not have to worry about anyone judging me, for there barely is any reader I personally know. And at least this is where I can pour out my feelings, where I'm true to myself.

Anew

2011-11-11T07:36:00.000-08:00

Even with Facebook, Twitter and all, funny how the old school blogs everyone used to have in primary school prevails. Decided to start up a blog for the very purpose of expressing my feelings. It'll just be me, reflecting, talking to myself.

No one's here to judge as well! =)

Personal goals aside, I'm not really clear as to what i want in my life. As in, my character. At times, I do feel like I'm not gracious enough to those around me. While at other times, I think to myself, heck it, why should I even bother to try and please everyone?

Ah well, let's see how my day turns out tomorrow. There's so much more to worry about now; I&R